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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, typing like a madman. I’m on the corner of Rīgas and Daugavas iela, and the traffic is nuts. Cars honking, people yelling. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just Balozi!” But no, everyone’s in a rush. I swear, if I had a euro for every time someone cut me off, I’d be rich.

Former President Moi claims chunk of Balozi estate